My fellow daddys (mommys advice too!!)

Tristansdaddy11

Fiance is 26 wks pregnant, and I've been such a proactive daddy. From the start I've been so excited, reading and watching everything about babies, right by her side all the way. I mean how many guys are THIS excited about becoming a daddy? Like most proactive fathers, I feel extremely inadequate to the mom. I am just as much a parent to this baby as she is! I've done my best to understand, I mean it is her body, and no man can ever possibly understand the pregnant woman to the fullest extent. Its not her, actually shes done everything to make me feel important. But daddys, do you get furious when the obstetrician kicks you out to talk to mom one on one? mommys what kind of advice can you give me? Oh and p.s. this is my first baby... My lil tristan alexander, due 9/9/11

KrazymomofAdrian

You kind of sound like Adam lol. I hope your not, lol. But sometimes it can just be advice that some woman wouldn't like their bfs, bds, or husbands knowing about. I.e. Diarrhea, constipation, or hemorrhoids. Just be there. Ask what that was about but don't pry. Good luck and congrats.

Proudmomma

I have never had the Dr kick my bd out and she still hasn't and she is now 5 weeks old. Maybe the Dr is talking about something non baby related? Sometimes I know a Dr may ask questions dealing with emotional support ect. Just relax cause when the baby comes that's when it really starts. My bd wasn't into all the baby prep but now that she is here if I read to him stuff he will listen. Just know you are doing great and once the baby comes you will be included all the time

mrs_shu

I agree it may be non baby related. Ir doesn't mean she's keeping anything from you but I know with me, I'm not discussing any bodily functions in front of hubby lol with our youngest hubby only came in the room for heartbeats and ultrasound

KaylaThering

My advice is ask what you can do for her. Especially as she gets closer to DD. She's going to be miserable and sometimes you as the person who helped make her miserable (lol) are going to be in the path of her horomones. If she's craving something go get it. If she hasn't painted her toenails in a while BC she can't reach do them for her. Same for shaving her legs. Offer to do things you normally wouldn't. And when baby comes, and she's starting to feel better, hand her some cash and tell her go do something for yourself, I got this. Little things go a LONG way

survivormommie3

wow. i guess i am shocked because my hubby has been with me through every appt and test this pregnancy (#3) and not once has the doctor ever asked him to leave, if i want him to leave, or anything. they include him just as much. if i am saying "im swollen and bla bla bla" they ask him how he thinks i am. so i guess he is just as involved- without having the baby growing inside of him. haha.
have you asked your lady what they ask her when you leave the room? if you haven't i would ask her: "is it something about symptoms? consitpation...etc? or is it 'do you feel safe at home?' type of deal? it could be a range of things. and if she is ok with the way things are i would just express to her that you would like to be THERE with her. and leave it at that. if it's petty stuff and she's comfortable with you being in the room regardless of whether it's a cervical check, or asking about symptoms then maybe mention to her that she should speak up and let the docs know she's ok with you staying.

[Deleted User]

Sometimes they need to ask personal history questions that might not be appropriate in front of people... and since you aren't legally married? Maybe that has something to do with it?

They asked me if i wanted Hubby in the room when they checked my hemmorhoids or things like that. I said yes it was fine. Maybe she said no?

SamiUK

My fiancee reads every thing to even has the dads Haynes manual from conception to birth haha, he use to get upset when he couldn't feel kicking but i could he insists on coming to every appointment even though i tell him don't have to has midwife will only ask how things r check my pee, measure my tummy and listen to heartbeat, which we can whenever has have a doppler at home, he still insists on taking time of work to come though!

Mnbaby3

Sometimes they will kick you out to ask if there is any emotional or physical abuse in the home...they are afraid the woman won't answer honestly if the man is there in the room. Maybe it could be that?? That is the policy at my docs anyway. Awesome of you to be so involved :-)

Tristansdaddy11

Thanks all! I feel selfish enough just asking, its just touchy for me. This is our first and we didnt shop around too much for ob.. hes kind of an ass, and my fiance is so modest, she doesnt want to tell him what to do. But ill deal, I'm the daddy, thats what it comes down to in the end

Tristansdaddy11

@SamiUK tell him to find and read "shes having a baby, and I'm having a breakdown!" Its hysterical

SamiUK

I will o

lae3

I dont have much experience with man being booted but the few times he was it was.. just so the dr could ask me some personal sometimes embarrasing or gross questions.. some woman may not answer honestly.. i would.. cause i tell my man everything even the stuff i know he doesnt want to hear.. ugh.. lol.. it could just be how he/she does things.. you shouldnt feel bad about it cause your probably not missing anything important..

1stWoodsBaby

My husband has been to every pap smear, OB appt, ultrasound, everything with means he's never once been asked to leave. When the doc asks you to leave does he ask your fiance first if she has a prederencor does he just say" okay you need to step out now?" Does your fiance know how you feel about being asked to leave? Maybe she could say " he can stay" next time if she doesn't care and she knows how you feel. My husband would be concerned if he had to leave too. Also, I think it's great you are so involved. My husband is the same way andnits great considering some women are having to do it alone.

kenziesmom216

they never kicked my fiance out the room . ever ! he was at every appointment until just recently when he went to jail . but they never kicked him out . maybe she should tell the OB that its okay if you stay in the room . i felt more comfortable with him in the room with me . and makes me happy to see that your so involved and happy ! . congrats on your little bundle !

fallen05

I can understand where your coming from my hubby doesn't miss one appt and stayys in the room with me all the time. A nurse tried to kick him out once to ask me questions and I said no its his baby too, she adviced me it was personal I told her what he doesn't know he needs to know. What can I say I'm very outspoken ever since then I think they have all been warned not to kick him out. Just know you are being a great spouse by being so involved I'm sure she appreciates it dearly!