Where I live, as long as there is no custody order it's totally fine. My son was taken from me but it was just in another county. Nothing was done until I got a custody order.
You can take baby wherever you choose He could file for custody and jurisdiction would remain where he and you resided. That would mean traveling back the 200 miles for court dates etc. That is, if you think he will even do that.
@captivated@bahamamama4828@homebirthadvocate What about child support? Would I have to take him to court to get that? And if I did, would a custody decision be made then? Or prior?
No, child support and visitation are separate. You would have to go to your local courthouse where you live or are moving and file a motion for child support.
I wouldn't file for custody. Don't fix something if it isn't broken! If he wants visitation/custody, let him file it
Are you prepared to pick your son up from those custody visits? Or meet halfway to drop him off and halfway to pick him up? I know that custody was granted/set up before child support for my sister. I really don't know if its the same everywhere. You have to file for child support, my sister says its usually a simple process if the guy doesnt throw a fit about his responsibilty. Hopefully you get a bunch!
I disagree about not filing for custody. If there is no order, and you happen to have someone babysitting your son, his father can legally take him from those premises and he doesn't have to give him back. Then you'll have to file for custody, and it would just save a lot of time/heartache if its done in a timely manner before any issues arise.
Wrong. Depends on the state. Majority of states have an automatic assumption of custody to the unmarried mother. You would have the problem @fate said if you were married as you have equal parental rights. It would be best to find out your state laws.
Custody orders are great, but they are also very messy if you are not prepared for it (coming from me who spent 3 long years and 50k in a custody battle).
Can you two get along and have an adult conversation? If so, file for custody and on the paperwork request a court mediator. They are free and can draft your custody agreement up and have it signed by judge
No it isn't wrong. I was NOT married, and my husband took our oldest child 200 miles away to Detroit. The only way to get her back since there wasn't a custody order, was to wait until he left her with someone else. Basically "stealing" her back. Or to file for custody which took 2 weeks. We all know every state is different, trust me, better safe than sorry.
Best way is mediation rather than *surprise* I filed for custody! I hope everything works out. It would be nice if you could remain in the area so your child could have a close relationship with both parents.
Just remember, BD may have been a shitty significant other, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a relationship with his child. (Of course there could be way more to the story, so forgive me if im missing a big part). I just hate to see women get pissed off and the child ends up suffering in the end. I learned to keep my emotions out of it and my baby's best interests at heart. It sucks and is a struggle everyday!
When I moved to another state with my son. I found out our state laws (unwed mother has custody until otherwise determined by court.) When we move the daycare had me fill out paper work of who was/was not allowed to pick him up. If the day care, or person always has a note that states he cannot take the child and the print off of the state law (you can get from any police station) that state the unwed mother has custody until otherwise determined in court he could NOT "steal" your child. I have been through this and if your state has the same laws as mine just make sure you always have that print off and a note with anyone who will have your child when you don't. As far as custody (if laws are the same) don't file before you move, technically the court can't make you stay within the same county. Child support I would file right before you leave you wont be able to in the other county until you have resided in that county 6 months and you don't want him to try to pill any I want joint custody bs because your leaving and want child support! Does that make sense? Let me know if you have any questions, I have been through move with my child 3 times lol
@second_time_mommy7 hit the nail on the head. The one thing you want to avoid is filing any form of custody until you have lived in your new residence for six months. If it gets filed prior, the judge can order you to keep the child in the vicinity until custody is determined...and sometimes that can take a LONG time.
Comments
I wouldn't file for custody. Don't fix something if it isn't broken! If he wants visitation/custody, let him file it
Custody orders are great, but they are also very messy if you are not prepared for it (coming from me who spent 3 long years and 50k in a custody battle).
Can you two get along and have an adult conversation? If so, file for custody and on the paperwork request a court mediator. They are free and can draft your custody agreement up and have it signed by judge
Best way is mediation rather than *surprise* I filed for custody! I hope everything works out. It would be nice if you could remain in the area so your child could have a close relationship with both parents.