Good job, mama. Lol he obviously is fighting your good parenting. Stay strong. Teenagers are a-holes...I was awful to my dad at that age. I'm lucky he let me make it out of my teen years. Haha
Oh thank you lol, I feel like just crawling in a hole & never coming out. The 5 little kids get 30 minutes of computer time a day & he made my 5 year old get off 3 minutes early. To the 5 year old it was like the end of the world, so I told him to get off the computer & let him finish. He didn't want to so I used a few choice words to persuade him (feel bad about that) a that's when he called me the b word. Ugh
Do you think grounding him from his phone, computer & friends is over the top? We moved here 6 months ago & he has become friends with all the druggies. He even had to go to the emergency room for smoking too much weed once. I hate it here!!! ( @ynvtish - whoa...maybe this is why we're moving...hmmmmm...) I wish I could get him away from those kids. @rtmommy @mrsstanley_x2 @cristinalynn
Omg if I would've ever said that to my mom, I wouldn't be living today. If that were my son he would have gotten an old-fashioned ass whooping! He definitely wouldn't be getting back on the computer anytime soon either!
Sounds like a fair punishment to me! I my mom would have back handed me if I ever said anything like that anyone; I'm scared to this day to imagine what would have happened if I said it to her! You know how you shouldn't react when a toddler/little kid does something for attention? Use that on him, too.. because he only said it to get a reaction. Stay strong!
Ah sweetie! Leo is nearly four and his choice of words to hurt me are 'you aren't my friend anymore!' And that hurts, just can't imagine hearing that! Means you are sticking to your rules though and not giving in which is good! Hope you find a better neighbourhood for when you move. Just remember you are a great mum, you have given me so much help here and countless other ladies too. Unfortunately teens can be soooo mean! I definately think that is a justified punishment too!
@blessedtxmom - yikes, senior prom! I don't think I would ever do that unless it was way more serious.
@littlenat86 - thanks, that means so much to me. It's embarrassing to tell the bad side of my parenting, but no one is perfect & I get so much help here too. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
I agree you're doing your job, a good parent doesn't mean your a cool parent. Quite the opposite. You're not there to be his friend, but to guide him in life. And yes, ground the shit out of him. I once called me dad a f*cking asshole, and got back handed. Needless to say, I didn't do it again, and you know what, that was at 17, I'm now 22 and I love my dad so much.love that he did everything he could to make me into a successful person. Hang in there, I know its gotta be hard.
Girl you are better then me cause he probably wouldn't have been able to get past "fucking" and I would've been on him whooping his ass! Kids done lost their minds!! You are not going to far by taking stuff away...remind him how lucky he is to have you as his Mom cause if he woulda been my son he wouldn't have shit and he'd have two black eyes!!
I agree his arse would have been handed to him if it was me lol....I couldn't imagine saying that to my parents back in the day....whewww it would have been on! I would have been scuuuurred!!
@Wilsomom girl embraced how you have to move and get your son the Hell away from them rachet ass kids. If you stay he will surely become a product of his environment.
Don't feel bad when I got pregnant with my LO my oldest flipped out. She loved my fiance but for some reason his moving in and then me getting pregnant made it official that our family dynamic changed. She tried to go bad a few times, tried to cuss me out and even tried to swing on me when I was 5-6 months pregnant.
I ended up shipping her to her grandparents. She only went for 3 months but her ass needed to go. she was taking me all out of character and I was close putting hands on her. Plus... Her attitude was corrupting my other children causing them to fuss and want to disrespect each other. She had to learn...
She was NOT #1 she was 1 of 4!
I'm not sure if he's your oldest but those first borns really give you the blues!
@ynvtish I'm worried about it affecting the other kids too. What sucks is he'll be good for a month or two then go off like this again...after I think he's doing better & making progress. I've thought about shipping him to his grandmas's too.
I don't think you over reacted at all! I'm in the "my mom would have backhanded my a** to canada" category if I had EVER said anything close to that to her! He got off easy
When I was a rebellious teen my parents took away my friends, all forms of entertainment AND made me clean behind/under the stove and fridge. I didn't act up so much after that!
From a guy friends experience he one time told me that the one thing that finally taught him to respect his mother and later women in general. When he said something rude to his mom. So his dad took him by the shirt and said young man that is my wife you are talking to.. And he better never so it again and that he better apologize and he learned his lesson cause his dad freaked him out. I'm not saying you should do the same but your husband needs to have few words with him I would never let my kids talk like that. Not only is he disrespecting you but this is your chance to teach him to.respect all women that way later on in life he would never say something like that to his wife.
@Wilsomom dont ship him off. I do regret doing my daughter like that. It's a few years later and I now know what she needed was some individual time with me. She was going through "life" and when you're his age or the age she was life can wear you thin.
Jasmine went through the same.. The pressure from the kids, new baby, new spouse, new resident, new school, new friends. I threw too much at her at once and she was not only going through her own personal life junk but she was also beginning to get "lost in the sauce" at home and started to reach out to "rachet" people outside of the home... in a way I'm glad I shipped her to get her away.immediately, but at the same time my parents couldn't replace me and she felt rejected by me.
Out of all my kids she requires more one on one attention... That can make our relationship very draining sometimes. My other kids are more independent.. but jasmine never grasped that she wasn't the only child anymore.
My advice for you is to make sometime to spend one on one with him. Go have an adult, uncanneded, all bars open conversation with him.
Let him know how you screwed up.. tell him a few stories and tell him how you changed.
Be honest with him about the house, your fears and how you're going to make it out of it. If you're scared about that.. I'm sure he is too.
Talk to him about when he was born, his childhood, the things he does well (dont bring up the bad stuff) ... And just let him know you love him.
I would bet that after that time alone he'll apologize on his own for what he said.
He's lost, confused and alone... Mommy.always makes it better.
@jules , I wish my hubby would've defended me, but he was afraid he'd say or do something stupid so there I was stuck dealing with the entire thing alone.
@ynvtish They're 20, 16, 15, 10, 7, 5, 4, 3, 1.The 3 oldest are from my previous marriage & he's the youngest of them. He was always a mama's boy & always wanted my attention, so you're probably right. He said a lot of hurtful things last night, even more than I said on here, so I'm really upset right now & need time to settle things down before I talk to him probably. But what you said makes total sense, thank you.
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@rtmommy
@mrsstanley_x2
@cristinalynn
@littlenat86 - thanks, that means so much to me. It's embarrassing to tell the bad side of my parenting, but no one is perfect & I get so much help here too. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
Don't feel bad when I got pregnant with my LO my oldest flipped out. She loved my fiance but for some reason his moving in and then me getting pregnant made it official that our family dynamic changed. She tried to go bad a few times, tried to cuss me out and even tried to swing on me when I was 5-6 months pregnant.
I ended up shipping her to her grandparents. She only went for 3 months but her ass needed to go. she was taking me all out of character and I was close putting hands on her. Plus... Her attitude was corrupting my other children causing them to fuss and want to disrespect each other. She had to learn...
She was NOT #1 she was 1 of 4!
I'm not sure if he's your oldest but those first borns really give you the blues!
@Wilsomom dont ship him off. I do regret doing my daughter like that. It's a few years later and I now know what she needed was some individual time with me. She was going through "life" and when you're his age or the age she was life can wear you thin.
Jasmine went through the same.. The pressure from the kids, new baby, new spouse, new resident, new school, new friends. I threw too much at her at once and she was not only going through her own personal life junk but she was also beginning to get "lost in the sauce" at home and started to reach out to "rachet" people outside of the home... in a way I'm glad I shipped her to get her away.immediately, but at the same time my parents couldn't replace me and she felt rejected by me.
Out of all my kids she requires more one on one attention... That can make our relationship very draining sometimes. My other kids are more independent.. but jasmine never grasped that she wasn't the only child anymore.
My advice for you is to make sometime to spend one on one with him. Go have an adult, uncanneded, all bars open conversation with him.
Let him know how you screwed up.. tell him a few stories and tell him how you changed.
Be honest with him about the house, your fears and how you're going to make it out of it. If you're scared about that.. I'm sure he is too.
Talk to him about when he was born, his childhood, the things he does well (dont bring up the bad stuff) ... And just let him know you love him.
I would bet that after that time alone he'll apologize on his own for what he said.
He's lost, confused and alone... Mommy.always makes it better.
I know its hard for you.. hang in there.
@ynvtish They're 20, 16, 15, 10, 7, 5, 4, 3, 1.The 3 oldest are from my previous marriage & he's the youngest of them. He was always a mama's boy & always wanted my attention, so you're probably right. He said a lot of hurtful things last night, even more than I said on here, so I'm really upset right now & need time to settle things down before I talk to him probably. But what you said makes total sense, thank you.