Hey man, being a mom is hard. I'm sure youre doing your best. I find myself being the things I hated as a kid in my parents. It happens, we lose our cool. Days off is a great idea, you need time for yourself. Also maybe mommy time outs when you Start to lose your cool.
Kids push...and they keep pushing. No one child is well behaved all the time. My son has been particularly rebellious as of late and I've found that revoking privileges works well for when he has been overly misbehaved and rewards for when he does as he is asked/told. I have found myself short on patience which leads to yelling and ultimately arguing with a 6 year old...bottom line, I am the parent and he is the child. There are rules and consequences for bad behavior. My sanity saver is to send him to his room until I he is calm & I no longer want to yell. Sure, he has toys in there, but if it keeps the tempers down, it's better that he play with legos for 10 mins than to get yelled at because I can't be patient with him. Don't feel bad hun, we all yell sometimes and we all lack patience sometimes. Keep working until you find what works for you. I've also noticed he likes to feel useful, perhaps giving the kids an easy task, telling them how much it will mean to you, and telling them how much you appreciate what they did after it's complete? Obviously cleaning their room is not a good place to start, perhaps wiping base boards or picking up their laundry. It gets easier when they feel like a contributing member of the family.
Not only is being a parent yourself hard, but trying to NOT be your parents is super hard, too. I'm in the same boat (well, kinda.. my kids are 12 months and 1 month, but I'm so scared to treat them like my mom treated me). It's definitely a learning process because all you know is how you were treated. Try researching other discipline methods, there are some crazy good ones out there, that you just normally wouldn't think of as an adult, but to kids its effective. Good luck and chin up!
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