At what age...CRAZY UPDATE IN COMMENTS

edited May 2013 in Parenting
is it ok to let your son have their girlfriend in his bedroom alone? If ever lol
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Comments

  • I say never.
  • Depends on your level of trust
  • Im honestly gonna be the parent i didn't have. Im gonna educate my kids on sex and stds. I don't wanna be the parent to say NO you cant have sex. No you cant date. Whether is under my roof or somewhere else its gonna happen. Criticize me if you want but i know how teens are.
  • When he lives on his own lol.
  • ^^ agreed. Or 21 IF they leave the door open.
  • @Steph_due_101611 you're right. Teens now a days have sex whenever and wherever they want too (i know i did).
    My mom talked to me about sex, std and offered to provide me with birth control or condoms when i felt i was ready to have sex, but she also told me that her house was not a hotel. That if i wanted to have sex, that i better find somewhere to do it cause her house wasn't an option.
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  • My nephew is 17. His mom don't condole sex but she did buy him condoms. They are never allowed in the room with the door closed.
  • I'm of the thought that my house isn't a hotel....& I know if they're gonna do it, they'll find a way, but I don't condone it here... I just wondered what others think. I need some back up! Lol
  • I believe when they start high school as long as the door stays open and no under the blankets etc....my parents were super strict which made me find how to disobey more...but with the problems you already have with your boys I wouldnt allow them just because you need to deserve the privilege
  • @firstTimeMommy0928 Yeah, there's a part of me that wants to trust him, but I don't trust human nature! You know what I mean? Lol Things happen so fast, even if they have good intentions.
  • @Steph_Due_101611 I don't criticize you at all, I think it's great you're trying to do better than your parents. I believe in educating too, but I just don't condone premarital sex, especially in my home. I'm old fashioned. Lol
  • My mom was a lot like your mom @Perly she put me on the pill, gave me all the info I needed and said not to do it at the house. I was pretty good about respecting the rules unless my parents were out of town lol. But I agree with @firstTimeMommy0928 your boys behavior has not earned the privilege of having girlfriends over in their bedroom.
  • I know someone that let Thier child have a boy in their room and now she is 16 & pregnant!
  • @frantastic yup. That was my mother. And i think it was great that she decided to do it that way because it just made me a lot more comfortable with her. I was more open with her about my period and sexual questions.
  • My parents were to strick to. I had sex in metro oarks the library, parking garage, here is the really messed up part I did it to rebel. If they would have allowed me to be a teenager it would not have happened. Just bc they are in s room does not make u deaf and dumb lol make him leave the door open. But u hsve a lot of younger kids that I am sure don't offer any privacy.
  • My parents were very very strict.

    But they allowed me to have guy friends in my room with the door open. And when I finally did have a boyfriend at age 18 (lol I wasn't interested in guys that way until 18ish) it was alright as long as the door was open. I had so many siblings who are amazing narks
  • I agree on education is important but I was always told no boys in my rooms there was no age it is their house I never cared but I wasn't hiding anything. So guess if they.insist then to me it would mean they need the rule lol. And to me it isn't about not trusting my kids I think it naturally gives the idea to start messing around in first place which will probably not be at home.
  • I say when you have there own place they wanna have there bf/gf over thats fine but there are plenty of things to do outside of there room there wont be any hanging out in there room with the door closed or open just my opinion
  • I forgot to say that my mom didn't allow me to bring home every single boyfriend i had. She always told me, that i was allowed to date but she didn't need to meet every single guy (She only wanted to know the important information). She said to only bring home the guy i knew i had a meaningful relationship with. And i could only invite them for dinner or an evening outside (or the living room). So in total, my mom only got to actually meet and interact with two boyfriends, my very first boyfriend and my now husband.
    So, i had the no boys in my room rule...
  • My parents let my bf live with me on the weekends in the back part of the house (bedroom/shower/extra livingroom) after I graduated highschool. I thought it was pretty fair.
  • I would sneak my boyfriends into my bedroom and have sex while my parents were home. Soooo with that being said, NEVER!
  • I understand the whole my house is not a hotel argument. Seriously tho he would have to find a girl willing to have sex with a door open during the day (I am assuming) with a lot of kids in the house. So either this female should not be allowed in the house at all bc she is nasty or there is not much chance of anything happening. I am a long way from having to deal with this issue but for the life of me I never understand y parents act as if sex is the end of the world (bc of a couple comments).lol I know you don't want it bc of the potential consequences but they are going to do it so y not someplace safe. For parents with girls especially bc then that means they aren't in a car getting raped bc they decided not to go all the way. Personally I waited until 17 bc of the values my mother taught even then it was with my husband had they not told me I could not see him I wouldn't have done half of what I did. But I was in situations with other guys that could have gotten me into a lot of trouble if I was with the wrong person.
  • For me, I would allow it around 16. No locked doors though and I would be checking in occasionally. If they're going to have sex, they're going to do it regardless of what you allow. And sixteen ONLY if she is not messing up and doing well enough to have earned that trust and responsibility.
  • edited April 2013
    @candy101 I guess it depends on the kid and the relationship a parent has with his/her kid. In my case, my mom and I had the kind of relationship in which we communicated, listened, and compromised with each other (then again, I have a very understanding personality) so I was fine with the no boys in my room rule because I wasn't completely tied down (I was still allowed to date and go out with guys).
    So yeah you're right. When parents impose rules without meeting their kid halfway, it can very easily backfire. I know for sure that I would've rebelled as well if I would've been in your shoes.
  • I think after they graduate high school, they will be educated about sex though, and they have to be trust worthy. Also, since I have boys, it has to be a girl I like don't bring bitchy sluts to my house. It also is not going to be an every day/ night thing.
  • How old is he?
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