My weekend was just ruined...

My local support group has an annual walk to remember in memory of all the babies gone too soon. I've never attended the walk and i decided i would join this year. The registration and the whole event is completely free and you can have friends and family come along. Its a kid friendly event, so thats a plus.

Long story short, i asked 2 of my cousins if they would join me along with their kids because i really wanted to do this. Last year i had a balloon release of my own but this year i was 3 days away from my due date so i didnt do anything in memory of my daughter. Right from the beginning they were excited and down to go. I asked them several times because i had to register in order to attend, and every single time they said yes. The event is tomorrow and i just get a text now saying that they decided they don't want to go anymore cause their husbands have something else planned. Im not mad, but im hurt. I've been asking them for the past 2 weeks and they've said yes all along. What hurts me more is that these are the people that promised to always keep my daughter's memory alive and they rarely mention her now. Im not asking for much, the whole event is only an hour and a half long, if that.

Im so hurt. I want to cry. It makes me not want to go. I just want to crawl under a rock and cry.

Comments

  • I'm sorry your going through this. I lost my son when I was 32 weeks pregnant I did march of dimes last year and it was a struggle trying to get friends to walk with me after they kept saying they would. Family didn't even offer to walk with me. The only one that talks to me about my son is my 4 year old daughter. Even if no one walked with me last year I was still going to do it. I was crying my eyes out to my husband my feelings were hurt but the more I thought about it I didn't care it wasn't about them its about my son and how I can keep his memory still going and keeping his name still out there. I'm only one person but it only takes one to keep his memory going. My best friend also suppose to be my sons godmother did more for another friends walk then mine it hurt me so much. She raised no money and didn't get anyone else to walk for my son but did all these for someone she is on again off again friends with. I'm learning I can't depend on others its sad but I have learned not to expect a lot when it comes to my son that I lost.
  • @debs i just dont feel like going and seeing all these couples with their families as support. I want to go and feel good and i just don't feel good anymore. I rather go off with my husband and do something else for her.
  • That sounds nice also. On my sons anniversary of his passing we make it just the husband and our kids and make a day of it. Its nice to do things on any day also that isn't his passing. Just so they know their parents are always thinking of them. I wish my family and husband's family supported is more when it comes about him.
  • I'm sorry, I would be so mad! Can u go with anyone else??
  • @debs it just sucks. I was so excited.

    @excitedforoctober my husband and son were gonna join me anyway, but we were looking forward to having family join us.
  • I'm very sorry about that :(.... I think if your not excited about it anymore it's ok don't force it and you guys can plan and do something else together like you said..however my thought is it may be hard to get out the door but with the support of your husband and having your son with you which is such blessing it could be great way to have him know about his sister as he gets older. And you might love the energy of the other parents there. Either way im very sorry and hope at some point your family comes around and understand how much this means to you.

    @debs I hope you don't mind me asking but what happened to your lo? I can't even imagine going through that I'm 31 weeks right now so scary to think that anything can happen. And I'm also very sorry for your loss.
  • @Jules we never got a answer he was healthy by appearance and wasn't tangled in the cord they said most will never know why which is the hardest thing not knowing what happened I blamed my self for the longest time and still have thoughts if I would have done something different. I had third child and he was fine now on my 4th a new Dr wants to run different test like if I carry blood clot problem which if I do it could be the reason my son passed away.

    @perly I hope whatever you end up doing you have a great weekend
  • @debs that's very scary for sure. I can't believe they have no idea. Did you go into labor and he was born that way or was there just no heartbeat out of nowhere. Good thing the doc is keeping good eye on everything this time I'm sure it will allbe ok but it doesn't hurt plus I'm sure gives you some peace
  • @Jules first thing to give be a sign is I slept through the entire night I woke up knowing something was wrong I tried for couple hours to get the baby to move my brother cane and took me to the hospital where it took a lil while they tried to find a heart beat they couldn't they had to get a Dr to give me the news but I knew before they said it. I had went to the Dr few days before and he had a strong heart beat. I think since this has happened to me all my friends have gotten scared when they are preggo but its not a common thing
  • @debs oh my gosh can't even imagine that is scary. It's amazing is how you just knew I would be sitting at home not think much of it just think my baby is lazy out of nowhere. I have never heard anything like that so late on I'm for sure more aware now thank you for sharing. I hope and pray that you continue have nice and healthy pregnancy!
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