My two year old is so clingy!!!!

She follows me
To the bathroom, downstairs,
anywhere and everywhere I go!
I had a dr appt this morning and
Had no choice but to take her. I don't have family or many friends where I live. She was fussy and throwing fits most of the time. He cried a good amount of my visit as well for no apparent reason. When I'm scolding her I tap her butt bc I'm not going to beat her obviously....and she screams bloody murder as if I actually hit her and hurt her. She's become over dramatic. She used to be independent before I was pregnant. My nine year old has her good days and then she has that one bad day where her attitude is so shitty and she talks back a good potion of the day. She's mean to her sister, but this has been an ongoing thing for a good year or so. She's improved a bit but it drives me nuts. I've caught her hitting my little one or telling her to shut up. She's always expressed since day one that she likes her other sister better and that her other sister is cuter. Her other sister is her dad's daughter which I am no longer with. I'm married to someone else and my little one and the one I'm expecting, are my husbands. I think she was an only child for so long, 7 years that she sometimes is resentful. That among other things. Lastly I'm tired of my daughters grandma....ex mom, telling me how huge I am and how I've "blown up" it makes me want to be rude. Vent over.

Comments

  • Yea my step daughter had hard time. She was 5 when we had our first and her mom and new step dad had their first 3 months before that so a lot of change was going on and she was acting up. Then we just had our second few days ago and her mom and step dad had their second 4 month ago and she had some issues this time around as well. She will be 7 next month and I have noticed both times she's done better with us having another one and I'm not sure why exactly. However I do think it's because I tend to be more scheduled of houseld and we have our routine for all the kids and ourselves her mom isn't like that therefore my step daughter many times is confused because she isn't sure what is expected of her over there. If that makes sense. But her mom doesn't know what she wants either one day she super nice and spoiling her like crazy next.day shes smaking her in the face for saying something not necessarily bad or wrong just something that sets get off. If she has bad day she takes it out on everyone including her kids. So my advice is if you don't have routine get one going have expectations, a list of things she needs to get some everyday. And even things she gets to do everyday that are fun. Kids tend to do well when theres structure so they know what to expect and feel secure even with many changes around them. It's not easy I know but try to be patient but by no means over look the bad behave especially towards the other lo..I hope things get better and she snaps out of this soon!
  • edited December 2013
    Oh man do I feel you on the clingy part! Idk how im going to do with with a new baby coming soon! Thankfully I do have alottt of help from my dad and grandma (and somewhat little sister.) It must be very hard not having anyone to help. Im so sorry :(
    My little sister can be a pain in the a**. She makes my daughter sooooooo hyper and she dont listen when you tell her to stop. She is the definition of a problem child. Lol.
    Is it possible to take breaks for a few mins at a time? I know its bad but when I was living on my own with my daughter I didnt have much help only maybe twice a week if I was lucky. When she'd take her naps id set her pillows and blankets up on the couch in the living room and id go out on the balcony and open the blinds so I can see her and id take a 5 - 15 min smoke break (it was a small apartment and the door to the balcony was in the living
    room.) Im not encouraging you to smoke at all im just saying it was the only thing I had that was my alone "me" time. Maybe go outside and get some air once in a while or have a glass of wine?
  • @jules with my older one, I do have an established routine that has been in effect for at least 2 years If not, 3. When she gets off of school she does hw and then she gets some play time if she finishes her hw in time. Then it's dinner usually at 5-6. Then she watches some tv and then it's shower time at 7:30. Time to wind down and bed is at 8:30. No exceptions. Two days out of the week she has dance class. Friday evenings of course r more lenient bc she can stay up later since there is no school. I try to give both of my kids equal attention but at times it's hard. She gets jealous of my two year old and when my nine year old is spending time with me, my two year old gets jealous. She doesn't let my none year old kiss me or hug me. She tells her to stop or to move and will start crying and screaming If she doesn't. It's so frustrating so I'm worried about how I'm going to juggle three when te baby comes.

    @mommylovessparkle
    I wish I could have a glass of wine or a beer or something with alcohol!! I need it for when I get frustrated. I can't get alone time for sh!t. I can't even use the bathroom without one of my kids or both together following me in there too. They have their own room that they share yet they always end up in mine. I also don't know how I'm going to do it. It's nice to get a break. I can't even take a shower alone. It's so annoying!!!
  • Well sounds like you are already doing ur best. And shes most likely just effected because of her parents not being together. I would just continue what im doing and maybe do some research see what others have found helpful. when my step daughter was having hard time we were able to find some great books and we have good dvd that covers different sections which was helpful..mainly because it helped us understand why she was doing certain things and they give u suggestions on what to do..but once we really understood why we knew how to handle it better..I hope that its just a faze for ur kids.
  • @jules that's a very good idea! I never thought to research ways to help her cope except some counseling. Yeah, I'm sure it's very hard for her to know that her mom and dad will never get back together. She said she was jealous that her little sister was going to have a sister that was fully related. I felt so terrible but that's her dad's fault and it was time to move on. Plus, I think sometimes she takes out her resentment on me bc her dad was incarcerated and in and out of her life from when she was 4 1/2. He came home on her 7th bday and was inconsistent IMO. Then he got back into drugs and was really really not around this whole year. He just took a deal and will be gone from for approximately 21-32 months. If he's lucky then less. I can definitely see how that messes with her. I try to show her that I'm here even if he's not but it's probably not the same bc she loves her dad and in her eyes, he can do no wrong. That gets me upset bc I try my hardest to raise her as best as I can by myself and it still feels like it's not good enough.
  • Yea it's hard because they r kids and no matters what they will always love their parents they really dont understand much outside of that. If I were u I really would look into some things that u can read or even talk to others in similar situations. There r lots of us out there. I have two good friends that are in veru similar situation as our family and its soo nice to have them especially when things get hard to just have someone who understand to talk to..
  • @jules I think I want to get her into children's counseling. It might help her vent and let out all the negatives she is holding in bc that's a lot for a kid to hold on to
  • @adri805 that might be good. I can't judge that unless I was around her personal to see. One of my girlfriend's step son has gone to counseling forever and in his case it was negative effect but there are many that take very well to it. Do you know if they have any group at school she can join? My step daughter this year was issolating herself as part of her coping with what was going on in her home and there happened to be a group that was formed for kids doing that and they all just think it's fun. Which it is but it's really ment to help them. Ever since shes done much better.
  • @jules that's a great idea and now that u mention it, that's true. As far as turning into a negative. It probably depends the therapist.
  • @adri805 it doesn't hurt to check see what's out there first. Especially if your going to be paying good money for it. And yes it would depend on the therapist. You want the child to feel comfortable not "different" for being there and not knowing anyone else as far as your peers doing anything like this. She's older so by that age I'm sure she would talk to her friends about it, they might make her feel weird. Just some things I would keep in mind. Shouldn't stop you obviously but food for thought.
Sign In or Register to comment.