I need some support, tips, advice.. anything!

MommyLovesSparkle

Ill be 35 weeks tomarrow and im getting EXTREMELY terrified about labor. I know ive done it before and I think thats whats scaring me. My first labor was a horrible. I felt everything down to every stitch after birth. In a way I kind of want to ask for a c section just because I know its fast and it will be over soon. I just hear that the recovery for a c section is terrible and I dont know if I want that. Vaginal recovery isnt that bad just mainly the bathroom is a problem with stitches and being constipated and all that.. oh and the fact that you can barely walk.
Im also terrified of the little things also.. getting a catheter, dialation checks, contraction pain, mean nurses.. etc. Those things were so bad and painful for me. I just dont know what to do. I feel so alone and like im doing this by myself and I dont have the support i need. My mom and grandma would be there but they get on my nerves constantly. My mom dont stop talking and gets mad when someone tells her to be quiet (and not to mention she screams when she talks ) and my grandma freaks out over everything and also screams when she talks. But I need them there because they are very smart and will help me get through it somehow. Does anyone have any idea on how to prepare me or calm me down or make the pain go away ah I just want to cry im so scared every thing including putting the hospital gown on is scaring me and idk why.
Im thinking about some candles and a music playlist but I dont even know what type of music to download that wont irritate me.
Im just so scared

natashalynn

I would say music. I took my whole iPod and iPod deck, so I could play whatever I wanted in the moment. (I ended up bellowing out great big sea for most of it! Lol)
You could also try having a talk with your mom ans grandma before you go in. Explain that you're nervous and really need them to be calm so you can be calm. If you say it nicely and openly beforebeing in the heat of the moment it might be easier for them to listen .
And remember, no two babies are the same, so no two labours are the same. It could be completely different.
But at the end of the day, you'll have your baby. And that's all that really matters!

jules

I would for sure do the music either have it on an ipod or your phone so you can just put earphones on and tune everyone else out. But u don't need to be scared I always just told myself one way or another the baby gets here we go through labor and it has to end at one point and no matter what we all make it through the recovery. Plus every experience is different. You could get lucky like me I had great nurses the both times. First time I was treated well and it might have been because one my good friends has previously worked there for many years as delivery nurse but they were very nice. This time it was different hospital and still got treated well great experience. But they did know my hubby works as paramedic and have seen him around. And both times the delivery itself went well my first I didn't tear at all. And second just tiny one inside so I did get that one stitch inside but surprisingly my body felt way normal after I was released very fast. There's been many people who had great experience I would surround myself with that.

MommyLovesSparkle

@Natashalynn & @jules Thank you so much for replying! The music idea is most likely what im going to do. Im also going to check and see if there is a doula or a mkdwife that I can hire for cheap. It would make me feel so much better knowing there would be a trained professional in the room with me at all times. I know she has to come out somehow and eventually. I pray that I have a safe, easy, painless labor.

jules

I wish you the best!

perly

Well, first of all, this baby has to come out one way or another and no matter what way that is there will be some pain (hopefully it won't be a lot, and you can handle whatever pain there is). Its just the way it works and unfortunately theres no way around it.
I had a c-section with my son in May and i can honestly say that the most painful part out of the whole experience was getting the epidural. I had my c-section on Monday and i was off my pain meds by Friday. I really didn't have any pain afterwards, i was uncomfortable but not in pain. I preferably would have loved to have a vaginal delivery, even if it meant more pain.

I think a doula is a great choice. Also, try to read up on things you can do to handle pain so that you are prepared. Music can be very useful.

kenzie0713

I agree about the music, maybe some candles or low lighting. I always bring a couple of my favorite movies, blankets and pillows from home too. Just remember that you will get through it and you already know how it feels to have a bad experience so maybe this timeit will be a bit less painful!! Remember to only have people that keep you calm in the room with you, you don't need extra stress. I think with our second delivery its no longer the fear of the unknown as much as the fear of the known...we know what to expect for the most part. You will do great and we will be here with you every step of the way!

natashalynn

A doula seems like a great idea. I think if I were ever to have another I'd hire one. Maybe look into some breathing/meditation techniques as well.
Have faith in yourself. We do.

perly

I agree. You'll do just fine

RTMommy

Every labor is different. My 2 were night and day. The unknown is scary which is probably what has you the most worried. It's important your mom and grandma know what you need from them beforehand, so try having a talk with them. you'll do just fine. Also, bringing music of your own would be goood...no candles are allowed though in a hospital. Oxygen is combustible.

MommyLovesSparkle

@Jules Thank you

@Perly Im so happy you had a good C section. Most moms I hear that have them say its very painful afterwards. The epidual is my least fear. Last time I barely felt it. I was too concentrated on the contractions I just wanted that epi in me lol. Im going to google thing's that can help relax me

@Kenzie0713 I didnt even think about bringing movies and my pillow and a blanket. I think ill take one of Alana's blanket so I can feel close to her while shes at home. Thats a great idea thank you
Im pretty sure that ill have more than just my mom and grandma in the room. I have alot of family that I honestly forgot about.. (pregnany brain) lol. I asked my aunt today if she'll be in the room with me too and she said she will most definitely which is great because shes a very strong woman and will push me to breathe the right way and not let me be scared versus my mom and gma crying over every pain I get lol. I totally agree that its more of the "known" that im scared of I didnt even think of that. Thank you girl I appreciate it I will definetly be on here while im in labor updating you all on my process.

@Natashalynn I decided that im not going to get a doula. I feel like it would add more stress than I need. But if it works for you go for it ! Ill definetly google some breathing/meditation techniques thanks girl

@rtmommy I totally forgot about the candles thing lol wow am I stupid or what lol. I will definitely have many talks with them. They just better understand lol.


Thank you ladies ♥

natashalynn

Whatever works for you love. I won't be having another one unless I get pregnant by accident again, lol. But it sometimes fun to think of what I'd. Do differently round two. Lol

MommyLovesSparkle

I agree @natashalynn

perly

I chose to have a c-section, that's why it wasn't so bad.
I've heard that recovery is worse when you end up having an emergency c-section (when you experience labor before the c-section).
Almost all the women in my family have had to have an emergency c-section with their first kid (including my mom) and they all said the same thing, that recovery with their selected c-section (most of them had a c-section by choice the second time around) was way better than the one from the emergency c-section (the first time).

MommyLovesSparkle

@perly really. Wow Thats something to think about, thats honestly what im scared will happen but my gut feeling tells me to trust in god that I will go in labor on my own when im ready and everything will be okay. So im going on that. I realized that after I had Alana I was so happy with the fact that she actually came out vaginal because the recovery was a breeze. I dont think id be able to heal the right way after a c section constantly doing for a toddler plus a new baby. I cant even catch a break to lay down and really rest most days. Its like I sit on the couch then she wants water, then she wants juice, then her diaper needs changing, then she's hungry. Then im extra exhausted and start to cry and she looks at me like im crazy lol. I have to admit though she does help me tremendously with picking things off the floor, handing me things, ect heck shes even my best "soother" when im throwing up and I need my hair held back lol calling for someone to get me water and telling me im okay its like shes a big girly already lol. Ahh im blabbing away lol.

My2Boys

I had emergency section with first and a planned one with the second. Both were very easy and nice recoveries. The second one I feel was easier BC you are ready for it and know what to expect, although the recovery took longer BC I was in more pain due to taking care of my older son so I couldn't lay in bed with a new baby cuddling all day.

MommyLovesSparkle

@My2boys Thank you for letting me know your experience. I know that it would take longer for me to recover since id also have to take care of my older daughter .

perly

My advice is this, if you had a vaginal delivery the first time, go for a vaginal delivery the second time. I've read it here and i've heard from family and friends that the second, third, fourth and so on deliveries are easier than the first. If i remember correctly, my aunt said "after the first one its kinda like a slip and slide" lol. I chose a c-section because my baby was big and my doctor recommended a c-section. She said she would allow me to try vaginal if i wanted too, but she was 85% sure i would end up having a c-section.After consulting with my husband and mom, i decided that i didn't want to risk it and i scheduled the c-section. I was given an abdominal binder which helped me TONS when i got up and started walking because it gave me really good support.

MommyLovesSparkle

Thaks girl @perly I swear you always give the best advice *hugs*
I decided im going to push for a vaginal

perly

You're welcome. Everything will be just fine. And remember, no matter how painful labor is, its only temporary and the outcome is totally worth that pain.

I swear, if my chances of having a vaginal delivery would've been a lot better, i would've gone for it no matter how much pain I was in.

MommyLovesSparkle

@perly Ill keep that in mind. Thank You ♡