DNC I need help and advise, so lost, depressed, and crying non stop !

  • So I went in today for my 12 week ultrasound scan for the first trimester screening. This is the test where they do the finger prick and ultrasound to check for the d.s., and the 2 other things that cause birth defects. Well, I had a feeling that this wasn't going to be good. As soon as she put the ultrasound thing on my belly there wasn't a heart beat ;( . OMG this has to be the hardest thing EVER in my life!!!! I had a scan done at 6 weeks and there was a heart beat and today there wasn't. I now have to have a DNC done tomorrow and I am freaking out!! I've never had this done before. I am looking for advise as to what to do. Be put completely under or just be knocked out to where I don't know what's happening but be awake. If this makes any since to you all. I am so lost, confused, empty, and feel like I am the one to blame.. The doctors said it wasn't my fault but I know differently. I was under SO much stress I just feel like that's what caused me to miscarry. I watched you tube videos as to what they do and it looks very painful. I have already had around 22 surgeries and really don't want to have another surgery, but I know I have to. These surgeries were all due to a car accident I was in. They say it only takes around 15 to 20 mins to have this done but I also don't know if I can take the pain of hearing them suck my "dead" baby out of me. God this sucks so bad saying that. I feel honestly like I'm having an abortion with a DNC. Seriously this really kills me. I am sorry I am repeting myself but I am crying and lost. Just looking for people to tell me there input if you have ever had a DNC before and how it feels and what to expect, and if your pregnant how long after you had the DNC did you get pregnant again. I'm fearing that I won't get pregnant again and that scares me. Why does this have to happen seriously. Women already go through enough as it is but loosing a baby you were carrying isn't any better. Thanks ladies... This has to be one of the hardest days of my life!!!! They also gave me the option of taking a pill or to have the DNC. I said whatever way is least painful. The doc said the DNC. I don't understand how that is least painful besides probably seeing the baby come out of you when you pass the baby. Is that the only reason though??? Please give me your thoughts. Again thans ladies.

  • abby5abby5 March 2011

    I had a dnc few yrs ago...they gave me a epidural...I side feel a thing...it was quick and I was pergo a month later...sorry for your loss.

  • abby5abby5 March 2011

    Not slide...didn't

  • It's ok I understood what you meant. Thanks.... I mean I was only 12 weeks along but still very painful! Looking at a baby with no movement and no heart beat was seriously the hardest thing ever.. That was another thing they said was the epidural but I hate those also lol. The last two I had got messed up and it took them 3 tries to get it and I was in a lot of pain after words. Probably more pain then I would of been in without having one. Appreciate your post thank you!!!!

  • kerri26kerri26 March 2011

    im so sorry for u loss, first thing u need to do is grieve, take time for u to take it all in and adjust to what has happen. i myself have never had 1 so i cant help with the dnc but i did want to make sure ur ok or was well as can be, i know the pill will make u have what seems like a very heavy period this way u pass the baby or fetas u cant tell what it is when u pass it as it seems like a clot it can be more distressing this way or so i have heard again im so sorry if i can help i will xxxxx sending hugs xxxx

  • nharmonygrlnharmonygrl March 2011

    Get put under grl! Jus sayin....I hadf to have one and the meds they gave me to be "out of it" didn't kick in until like 2 hours after the surgery....I always have said since then .....god forbid that I ever have to have it done again I will b put to sleep!...it will also allow ur mind not to be goin nuts when the procedure is happening

  • bettybetty March 2011

    Oh my friend, Im sorry for your loss!! Im praying for you... Keep strong!! God has a plan for you, dont give up!! Keep your head up, God know why he does his things... NEVER GIVE UP!! IM PRAYN FOR YOU!!

  • mommy2be92mommy2be92 March 2011

    I was with my bestfriend that had a dnc and they put her on meds and withing an hour she was up and walking and she also took the pill and she hated that because it gives u horrible cramps and ur stuck on the potty all day

  • Thanks every one.... I am definently grieving. I can'[t stop crying. And @nharmonygrl thanks you very much! I will take that into consideration!! This is why I asked for everyone's opinion. This is so horrible. I understand everything happens for a reason but it's so very hard!!! I was looking at a lifeless baby I carried for 12 and a half weeks. This was so crappy!! Thankfully daddy was there to comfort me but he wasn't any better. Thanks again everyone for the hugs and prayers and thoughts. I am not pregnant any more so I probably should do away with pregly but I don't want to. You all are so great. Maybe I will stay on still bc after I have my DNC and I am able to try again I'll be TTC. Aka Trying to conceive. I am very thanksful for my 4 beautiful babies (well not babies but to me they will always be lol) that I have. But it will still never EVER take that pain away of knowing I had a baby in there that I lost. And dummy me, never miscarrying before and thinking it would never happen to me went and started buying stuff for this baby already. So now I have to deal with that also of looking at the diapers, and baby cloths, and all that. UGH...... This is just going to be really hard to get over. And @nharmonygrl did they put the IV in you and give you meds that way or just a pill. The doc told me that they would put the tube down my throat and everything and I already have a sore throat as it is now I don't want to make it worse. Plus I'm like seriously for just 15 to 20 mins your gonig to do all that. @Kerri26 I think that's why I chose the DNC rather then the pill. I don't think I would of been able to handle it emotionally seeing the blood clot come out and knowing my baby is in there some where. I'm already emotional now as it is but seeing it would of made it worse on me. At least this way I know I am going to get "cleaned out" and everything will be gone. Thanks again everyone!!! Appreciate the support from EVERYONE!!!!! You all are AWESOME!!!! Even if you haven't had a DNC before I still want to thank everyone for there "love"!!!!

  • Thanks momm2be92..... good info!!!! NO PILL for me!!!! That's out of the question for sure!!!

  • I just had a DNC on Thursday. I chose to have one so they could find out what was wrong with the baby because I've had 3 miscarriages. It wasn't too bad, that probably doesn't sound to good being that I lost the baby but to talk about the procedure itself, it wasn't bad. They gave me an IV and I believe he said they gave me a tranquilizer and a sedative. I was awake until the operating room but they gave me some medicine before we went to the operating room to help keep me calm on the way to there and then they gave me the other one that put me to sleep. I didn't hear or see anything. And I wasn't completely put under where they had to put in a breathing tube either but enough that I didn't know a thing. They brought me out of the room at about 8:45 in the morning and I was back in the room and awake by 9:30. She gave me a med called Methergine when I went home that she said would help keep the uterus contracted I believe so I didn't have hardly any bleeding or cramping until this morning, I woke up with some cramps but just took some ibuprofen and they are better.

    It is very painful no matter how many weeks along you. I was 8 weeks and I too went in for a normal check up to find out the same thing you did...no heart beat and we had seen it at a 6 week appt. It was pretty devastating. I only had a couple days from when I found out until I had the DNC so I didn't get much time to process it either. I'm so sorry for your loss, I understand how you feel completely. I hope everything goes as good as it can for you and wish you luck in trying for another baby in the future!!

  • lae3lae3 March 2011

    sorry for your loss.. wish i could say somtin to eas yor pain... dont blame yourself though.. we all get stressed and if that were the reason for your loss we would have a much smaller population... just know that its gods will and that he has a special plan for you...

  • Oh girl.. so sorry to hear. I had an MC but was still early on... but know its devistating. We are here for you. You'll do OK, we just have to help ease your heart and mind... take time to be sad. Its OK. And when you're ready we can ttc together and pray for healthy babies. My thoughts are with You, and heart goes out to you.

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  • mommajanmommajan March 2011

    im so sorry for your loss. I misscarried when I was 17 and about 3 months along, here in my town they had me wait to pass the baby. it was the worst thing ive ever gone through. you need to take care of your body now, the dr never scrapped my uterus after and I landed up getting HPV. still to this day my paps come out abnormal. im 9 months pregnant n have a worry of cancer in the back of my head. take care of your body for now. good luck and god bless you

  • Very sorry for your loss hun. I went through the exact same thing last may and now im 27 weeks pregnant. Don't give up hope! They put me under, I never had a choice. I woke up in the recovery room an hour later and I had some slight cramping and light on and off bleeding for a week but nothing bad. It is the hardest thing you can even imagine to go through. Its very hard. Do not try again until you are ready. My doctor said to wait at least 2 cycles so your uterus lining can build back up. Keep taking prenatal vitamins. Don't give up hope sweetie. Again, very sorry for your loss.

  • kayleigh27kayleigh27 March 2011

    Im sorry for your loss. I too had to find out I lost a baby that way. I had the feeling I shouldn't have been there. I didn't get a d&c but I had to wait 2 wks until my body naturally expelled the baby. I was 10 wks and it was the worse thing in the world. I felt like it was my fault. I was taking muscle relaxers for my back pain before I found out and I also did a military physical fitness test before I found out...th dr said it wasn't my fault but I didn't believe him. The.miscarriage was the hardest thing ever.for my husband and I to.go through. The only thing I can tell you os not to shut yourself away from the world. I did that and I pushed my husband and family away. When I really needed them.

  • kalvarezkalvarez March 2011

    I had a D&C in August and I was completely put out for it. I was as far along as you were and it definitely was difficult. The D&C was not painful at all. Afterward I didn't really bleed much, but when I over did it I got crampy. Plan on wear lots of sweats and leggings as you will be a bit distended. It is a very trying time, but I know that my husband and I can make it through anything id we were ableto make it through that (and we did). Lean on whom ever you can and know thatGod does not give us more than we can handle. Hope yyou are feeling well.

  • MommadipsyMommadipsy March 2011

    Im so sorry for you loss

  • MandaBearMandaBear March 2011

    I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I never had a D&C done. I miscarried in 2009, it was very early... but it was still hard. I still to this day think about that baby. Allow yourself all the time in the world you need to grieve. It doesn't matter how far along you were, it was still you're baby. You fell in love with it instantly! Again I'm so so sorry!

  • mama_ukmama_uk March 2011

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage last June, but didn't have a d and c, just let it all happen naturally. I can understand your pain, as I still get flashbacks of the day I found out at the scan. My sister-in- law had a miscarriage just before me and had a d and c. She is now 8 months pregnant and i'm 3 months. So there is hope. When I had my miscarriage, I tried to remind myself that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it and that it meant the baby wasn't meant to be. Now I'm pregnant again, I have been able to deal with the miscarriage better. Hope everything goes well for you.

  • MorgDeeBeeMorgDeeBee March 2011

    I had the same thing happen last year. Saw the baby and the heart beat at 8 weeks went back at 12 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I had no idea anything was even wrong. They gave us an option of a DNC or waiting for the baby to pass on its own. I had the DNC done I couldn't imagine the thought of having it still in me knowing something had gone wrong. They told us it wasn't our fault it wasn't anything we had done. I was completely out for the procedure. I remember going in and then waking up after. The only time I actually bled was right after when I got dressed but other then that nothing. I had some bad cramping but I still feel like I did the right thing for Me.

    If you need to talk I'm here.

  • Just wanted to thank every one of you on here for all your throughts and comments!!! It sure has made it A LOT eaiser on me!!!! Nothing will ever take the pain away but talking about it helps a little bit. I just feel like I am having some what of an abortion even though I know that baby is in heaven now. I mean couldn't they use a different term instead of a SUCTION DNC. That's what they have me scheduled for is a suction dnc. It's already hard enough but to hear that word it just kills me. Does any one know if they find out why the baby passed? I know they do a "test" on the baby is what I saw on the videos I watched. I am doing a lot of crying that's for sure!!! It helps but again nothing can take the pain away!!! I am sorry to all of you that has suffer a miscarriage before!! It is very helpful to also know that there are some of you that have had a DNC and gotten pregnant or is pregnant!!! That makes me feel a lot better as well. I swear I want to think I am feeling movement bc I have ALWAYS felt movement way sooner then usual. I know it's not there but because my stomach is in knots and grinding it feels like movement and I want it so badly to be that movement from my little angel. Again thanks a lot everyone!!!!!! I really appreciate all of your support!! I am glad I joined this group.
    @jadynbabygirl I am sorry for your loss as well. I wish you the best of luck!! You made me a bit more comfortable with this. This is the reason why I posted this was to get answers as to how people did with them after and during. I had heavy periods as it was so I am hoping maybe the DNC will help the periods as well. I hope I don't bleed to much. I am not planning on having another one for a bit of time and until my divorce is final as well. That's another thing that's been hard for me though out all of this. I had the extra stress of being pregnant and going through a divorce. It all sucks!!! But I will eventually move on and the pain will go away some what. I wqas told by my mom to have the DNC because she had like 3 miscarriages and didn't have one and never could get pregnant again. That is her though. I don't want to chance not being able to get pregnant again. I have 4 already and the guy I am seeing has 2. I mean we have enough and I wouldn't have to have any more but we want at least one together. If I have another I do if not it's ok to. But again it still doesn't take the pain away from loosing our baby we had together. I haven't been with my husband for almost 8 months going on 9. It has been a rough road though out all of this!! I know God has plans and he won't give us more then we can handle but at times I some times want to question him as to why we have to go though this all you know. Well, to all of you thanks again!!!!!

  • Hi and I'm sorry, I haven't had a d&c done before, i know what ur going thru today i also had my drs appt and they couldnt find a heartbeat, yes is very hard to hear that, im having a d&c done on wednesday, i also know the feeling of giving birth knowing the baby is dead and that leaves a huge trauma, i gave birth to my son Angel when i was 6months pregnant and this time i chosed the d&c cause it was a real bad experience to see ur baby been born and dead.. i hope everything goes well for u and also for me and everyone else going thru this really bad moment

  • TinknbobTinknbob March 2011

    I had a dnc a cpl yrs bk n they put me completely out. I didnt feel ne thng n it was quick. I got pregnant a cpl mnths after that. I felt the same way but thn whn I actually let myslf grieve instead of blame myslf I got threw it. Good luck n sry 4 ur loss.

  • @jenny1973 im so sorry to hear that!!! I could not imagine giving birth to a still born. Same to you@jtmoon98.... I give you all props. Regardless of people saying it would be the same feeling as if u lost a baby at 12 weeks compared to 27 weeks. Im sorry loosing a child is loosing a child regardless but I think the farther along it would be harder. I don't think I could live with myself if I had been 27 weeks or even farther along. I am pretty sure it was a boy. I took so many tests to find the sex out and they all came back a boy. Superstition oh well lol I was very anxious. Ill call him my boyfriend and I picked the name Brady Michael out for him. I was pretty sure something was wrong when I went in for my first ob appt. And se couldn't find a heart beat. She said well its just now to the point where u could hear th baby so I didn't think to much into it. The thought was still in the back of my head but I wanted to believe. I've never had to go through this before like I said so its very hard. I know things happen for a reason but again I would love to know why. Im trying to get over feeling like it is my fault but its still hard to not blame ur self. I feel like if I wasn't under o much stress I would of carried him. Again im sorry for your losses ladies. Im hopeful I will get pregnant again. When th time is right it will happen I guess. @jenny1973 did they do an ultrasound just to confirm it. Im still freaking out and wanting to hold on to hope that there is something and so badly want them to do another u.s. to double check u know. But I know it will just make it harder on me. Good luck with your dnc. Thanks again ladies!

  • Thanks @tinknbob. I think I am going to be knocked out.

  • gladiator007gladiator007 March 2011

    I wanted to have nature takes it course but I end up bleeding so heavy that I fainted and had to go to ER to have a DNC. I was completely put under and grieved for awhile. I'm sorry for everyone's loss but do not give up hope and let your body heal before TTC again.

  • lovemyangelslovemyangels March 2011

    I'm so very sorry. :( I had a d&c after my miscarriage at 10 weeks and my OB didn't even give me the option of being awake, I was asleep and wouldn't have done it any other way. I went to sleep crying and woke up crying. :( It was awful, but I'm so glad I was asleep for the actual procedure. Don't put yourself through it, go to sleep.

  • BeardreamsBeardreams March 2011

    Omg. I couldn't even imagine the pain your going through. That is my worst nightmare. Good luck with the procedure

  • The doctor did the first ultrasound no heartbeat then he sent me to perinatal specialist and they have a more advance machines and also no, I still do have my hopes up that somewhere was a mistake, they will do another ultrasound on Wednesday at the hospital and hopefully eveything will be alright, I know I'm kidding myself but I don't want to loose my hopes just yet

  • I understand completely. I hope they do that for me!!!!! Its so hard to let go!!!! I forget im sorry to ask if u said it already but how far along were you if u dont mind me asking. I only had like a one minute u.s. the tech asa she put the thing on my belly I knew but she was like, " im sorry heather thres no heart beat, ill make this quick and then ull go see the doc before you leave". That's all she said. There wasn't much to it. I know how u feel about holding onto hope. I can't let go and I don't want to. Its so hard to see a "lifeless baby" in there. Ugh.... why I tell u why. Women suffer as it is with the pregnancy delivery pms etc. I mean I do t suffer with pregnancies but some people do. Morning sickness etc. U know. I didn't mean harm by saying that. Keep me posted girl hope things get better for u. Im worried about tomorrow honestly. Im taking 2 ty.pms and knocking myself out so I can sleep lol..... good luck girl.

  • I think I would have a lot harder time with letting nature take it's course. I would see the clot and know my baby was in thee and probably end up worse off. Thanks for th advise ladies. I think im going out. Its hard enough as it is dealing with knowing I have to have a dnc and I don't want to hear anything or see anything either!!!! It is a very bad nightmare that I wish I could wake up from and slap my face and make things better and be in reality. It is very hard!!!!!! Sorry you ended up in the hospital @gladiator007. Glad u are ok but sorry for your loss as well. Its very hard regardless... good luck ladies with TTC when u do. Im taking time to myself and taking care of my four kiddos I have now that im thankful for having. Eventually ill ttc later when my divorce is final and things are settled down for me.... no rush I want my body to heal so maybe later I can conceive.

  • tnt2007tnt2007 March 2011

    if they will put you under, do it. I had a DNC after my miscarriage, and take time to grieve. Get counseling if you need it, and definitely take time off work...it does hurt afterwards, but resting really helps your heart and your body. Cry as much ad counted to, and for as long as you need to. There is no time frame for getting past the grieving, everyone is different. Sorry for your loss.

  • thanks a lot appreciate it. It has been a week today since I had it done and I am still in a bit og pain but the loss will never ever go away!!!

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